Inhale.

St John's has notoriously bad weather. I like to think that that had a lot to do with my emotional decline. Down down drop, drip dripping slippery slop. Christ.

Sometime during the November drizzle I made my decision to teach english overseas, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I wasn't finished with my self, my indulgences. I wasn't finished until I was apathetic to people, numb to the world; finally I retreated to my hometown after an eight-hour drive that buffered me from myself.

My mother's couch. Cassandra Buckle. Snow. Movies. Cooking. Driving winding roads, conversation, poetry. Biking. Mountains. Newfoundland. Bonfires, late-night hiking, the ocean. Reaffirmation. Strength. Motivation. Reconnect. My grandmother. My brother. My Mother.

Inhale, invigorated.

I was ready. I killed the interview and got the contract I wanted. When the plane landed in Incheon International Airport I wasn't upset, or scared, or even excited. I was calm, it felt perfect, this was exactly where I wanted to be. Three months later and I'm still 12.5 hours ahead of myself.